I recently asked a supplier about a specific item on a bill. I wasn’t questioning the pricing – I simply wanted to know what the item was as the terminology was unfamiliar. Instead of getting a straightforward answer, I received a lengthy explanation of the pricing. It left me frustrated because my simple question wasn’t answered.
We’ve all been there – listening to a client’s question and, before they even finish, jumping to conclusions about what they really mean. While it might seem like we’re just being proactive, this tendency to second-guess can lead to miscommunication, frustration, and even damaged client relationships. So why do we do it? The answer lies in how our brains are wired.
The Brain’s Prediction Mechanism
Our brains are designed to be predictive machines. The prefrontal cortex plays a significant role in anticipating what people are going to say or do. While this is useful for efficiency, it can also cause us to rush to conclusions without fully listening to what’s being said. We often think we know the “real” question before the client has finished, which can lead to answering a question that was never asked.
Cognitive Biases at Play
Another challenge comes from cognitive biases, like confirmation bias. This is where we seek information that aligns with what we already believe. If you’ve had similar conversations with a client before, you might assume you already know what they’re asking, even if that’s not the case. This bias can prevent us from truly understanding a client’s needs in the moment, leading to misinterpretation and over-complication.
Active Listening vs. Assumptions
When we’re actively listening, the medial prefrontal cortex (mPFC) helps us stay present and process the other person’s emotions and intentions. This allows us to understand what the client is truly asking.
But when we start to second-guess, we rely more on automatic thinking, which can lead us to jump to conclusions based on past experiences or assumptions. Meanwhile, the ventromedial prefrontal cortex (vmPFC) helps regulate our emotional responses, but if we’re too quick to react, we may miss important details in the conversation.
The Impact on Client Relationships
Second-guessing doesn’t just lead to communication breakdowns; it can also damage trust. Clients want to feel heard and understood. When we respond with answers that don’t address their actual questions, we create unnecessary tension. In worst-case scenarios, it can make clients feel like we’re pushing an agenda, rather than focusing on their needs.
How to Combat Second-Guessing
- Pause Before Responding: After a client asks a question, take a moment to ensure you understand it fully. Resist the urge to jump in with an answer before they’ve finished.
- Ask for Clarification: If you’re not sure what they mean, ask. It’s better to seek clarity than to risk providing an answer to the wrong question.
- Answer Simply: Sometimes the simplest answer is the best. If a client asks a straightforward question, give a straightforward response.
- Stay Present: Engage your brain’s active listening mechanisms. Focus on their words and emotions without letting assumptions cloud your understanding.
The key to strong client relationships is simple: listen, clarify, and respond. By understanding the neuroscience behind second-guessing and actively working to combat it, you can foster more open, productive conversations. Next time a client asks a question, resist the urge to fill in the gaps. Just listen – and if you’re not sure, ask.
Are you looking to strengthen your business’s client relationships and drive sustained profitability while streamlining internal processes? Contact Sharon for a complimentary 30-minute discovery call.
Photo: Elimende Inagella on UnSplash